How to Find a Writing Group (Even if You´re Introverted!)

Many writers are introverts. We cherish our time alone with our notebooks pondering things: a table alone at a cozy café, solitary hours overlooking a placid lake, time to ourselves with a book. That’s our comfort zone.

As a result, the simple act of getting out of our easy chair, socializing and discovering a couple of running buddies can lead to revolutionary progress.

Personally, I almost hate to be reminded of that. Where do I even find these amazing people? Does this mean I have to walk into a party and introduce myself? Do I have to start asking people to mentor me? Gross.

The first thing you need to do is memorize this mantra: Wherever I am is exactly where I need to be.

Often it’s the case that we worry about being at the right place at the right time in order to achieve what we want. We think it’s a function of luck. It’s not. We’re always already there.

When we start networking, we think we need to meet a star agent before we even finish the book. We jump ahead in our mind, which stresses us out, and at the same time can make us feel completely inadequate for the task. We hear that somebody’s cousin is friends with a famous author and we think we’ve got to send them our manuscript. We attend a book launch and feel like we have to elbow our way to the head of a crowd of aspiring writers. And most of us don’t want to.

Relax. You don’t have to do that. It’s actually a bad idea. Wherever you are is exactly where you need to be.

The people you need to connect with are sitting next you, at your same level. This is where you’ll get the maximum amount of chemistry and commitment, the two main ingredients for producing great work. Imagine growing as a writer with these people growing along with you. Seriously, picture that. Everything you need is closer than you think when you have your own community growing with you.

On the other hand, your “circle of convenience” is whatever you already do every day without much thought or effort. The fact is your current existence is likely to be made up of all the habits that you now deem as ordinary and convenient. Sure, new opportunities drop into our lives every now and then, but unless they require something of us they probably don’t inspire much growth. Therefore, whenever we expand our “circle of convenience” the result is truly transformational, even if a little inconvenient at first.

If you want to have the freedom to live a life you’ve chosen, rather than one that’s been chosen for you, you’ve got to step outside of your normal radius of convenience. The best things in life are worth the inconvenience: falling in love, having a child, developing a career you’re passionate about, a great health regimen, writing a book. The fact is that the “inconvenience” is only temporary. The effect is that it expands your radius of convenience and expands your life by the same margin.

Many writers are introverts. We cherish our time alone with our notebooks pondering things: a table alone at a cozy café, solitary hours overlooking a placid lake, time to ourselves with a book. That’s our comfort zone.

As a result, the simple act of getting out of our easy chair, socializing and discovering a couple of running buddies can lead to revolutionary progress.

Personally, I almost hate to be reminded of that. Where do I even find these amazing people? Does this mean I have to walk into a party and introduce myself? Do I have to start asking people to mentor me? Gross.

The first thing you need to do is memorize this mantra: Wherever I am is exactly where I need to be.

Often it’s the case that we worry about being at the right place at the right time in order to achieve what we want. We think it’s a function of luck. It’s not. We’re always already there.

When we start networking, we think we need to meet a star agent before we even finish the book. We jump ahead in our mind, which stresses us out, and at the same time can make us feel completely inadequate for the task. We hear that somebody’s cousin is friends with a famous author and we think we’ve got to send them our manuscript. We attend a book launch and feel like we have to elbow our way to the head of a crowd of aspiring writers. And most of us don’t want to.

Relax. You don’t have to do that. It’s actually a bad idea. Wherever you are is exactly where you need to be.

The people you need to connect with are sitting next you, at your same level. This is where you’ll get the maximum amount of chemistry and commitment, the two main ingredients for producing great work. Imagine growing as a writer with these people growing along with you. Seriously, picture that. Everything you need is closer than you think when you have your own community growing with you.

On the other hand, your “circle of convenience” is whatever you already do every day without much thought or effort. The fact is your current existence is likely to be made up of all the habits that you now deem as ordinary and convenient. Sure, new opportunities drop into our lives every now and then, but unless they require something of us they probably don’t inspire much growth. Therefore, whenever we expand our “circle of convenience” the result is truly transformational, even if a little inconvenient at first.

If you want to have the freedom to live a life you’ve chosen, rather than one that’s been chosen for you, you’ve got to step outside of your normal radius of convenience. The best things in life are worth the inconvenience: falling in love, having a child, developing a career you’re passionate about, a great health regimen, writing a book. The fact is that the “inconvenience” is only temporary. The effect is that it expands your radius of convenience and expands your life by the same margin.