Compassion Works Better than Pressure if you Want to Achieve your Goals

Yesterday, I got my COVID vaccine and I sent my book to my editor. And when I woke up this morning at 4:00 AM, I was terrified. For the past year I’ve been curled up, working on my book, staying safe, and helping others survive. Now everything is about to change.

When I’m frightened, in addition to the vitamin supplements, self-help books, exercise, journaling and crystals, I also gain wisdom from etymologies. Yes, I know, I’m deep into the personal development niche.

I don’t know whether or not etimological therapy will ever become a thing. I might be on my own on this one, but this is basically how it works. First, you capture the problem in a word. For me that word has been “pressure.” I put a lot of pressure on myself to succeed. It feels awful.

Pressure - The root word of pressure is Press, Latin for “to strike” or to push steadily against.

I know this is a heavy force that constantly grinds on many of us. We are under the pressure of our finances, our fears, our families, our cultures, and somewhere on top of all that we have the additional pressure of our hopes and dreams. We want to live a meaningful life, and yet the pressure of all this can feel like a burden and we never quite measure up.

The other day, while I was writing all of that pressure was replaced by compassion for a short time. It felt so good. The compassion of setting down that burden for even just a moment. So I decided to take a deeper look. Where does compassion come from?

Compassion - Com is Latin for together, with, connected, and Passion which is Latin for suffering, endurance, as in “The Passion of Christ.” In case you didn’t go through 9 years of Catholic school like me, The Passion of Christ, refers to the suffering Jesus went through before he was crucified).

The things we are passionate about often has something to do with a struggle we went through, or something we want to change in the world. I’m extremely passionate about writing and bringing meaning to life. This passion was fomented at a young age when I used writing and poetry as a coping mechanism. It’s only grown in adulthood, as there’s been more and more things to cope with.

However, all of that passion can build up into quite a bit of pressure without compassion. The idea that you can’t bear your passion on your own. You need to connect with friends, family and spiritual support. Also, in even more general terms, notice if you’re always hard on yourself and never proud of yourself, or mean to yourself and never kind to yourself. A lack of compassion takes up so much more energy than kindness! By simply flipping the switch from pressure to compassion, you’ll find you have the courage to face the road ahead.

As I was digging into the etymology for compassion, my eyes latched on to another word that offered even more direction…

Compass - Com (Latin for together, with, connected) and Pace (Latin for a step, as in pacing. A step at a time).

When you’re writing a book, taking that pressure, and stretching it out, or pacing it is only way to finish the journey, and do it well. I just finished Greg McKeown's chapter on pacing in his new book Effortless and it has so many stories and so much data to back up this simple logic.
My favorite story was about the race to the south pole in 1912. The team that kept a steady pace of 15 miles a day and rested no matter what arrived at the south pole one month before the team that pushed to get there at top speed. The first team also made it back home to their families, whereas the second team perished from frostbite on the return trip. It's a harrowing difference.
Set a steady pace. This is the best way to complete your book. Enjoy the time you spend writing. Don't rush. This is the only way to cultivate a career as an author. Remember, we’re in this together!